My beloved Domonic, 

I have been writing this letter to you for some time now; nothing seems quite good enough. I want everything to be perfect for you, my dear son. It is my hope that with each written word, it expresses just how I truly feel, how much I love you, how much I miss you, how much you mean to me, now and forever more.  I hope you’re watching over us— can you see how lost we are without you? I hope you’re OK with me telling and showing  the world just how special you really are. I can hear you saying, “my mom, still my biggest fan” (smiles). I’ll always be.

The world will know who Domonic Billa is.  

You gave my life so much more meaning the day you were born. Watching you grow from infancy through your young adult years has been both very fulfilling and rewarding. So proud to be your mom. “Dom’s Mom”.

Ironically, I gave birth to you, but you gave me life. Every moment with you always brought me nothing but pure joy. My beautiful brown baby boy with deep rich curls as your crown, so perfectly fitting for the young king you are. I vowed to give you my best, and my best I gave, so protective of you. Do you remember the school bus, Dom? I purposely took that job just so I could keep a close eye on you— who better to keep watch of you than your mom? I had the best job in the world. Each day to go to work with you by my side, it gave me great peace to know you were safe right by my side. I wish I could go back in time…to relive those days. 

It was such a pleasure to watch you grow and be the all-star kid that everyone loved to watch. It didn’t matter if it was basketball, football, swim meets, or track and field, all that natural talent just shining through. Dom’s mom, the biggest fan with the loudest cheers, LET’S go Dom! Way to go Dom! That’s my son, Dom! 

I watched you go from all-star kid to this smooth, chill yet infectiously funny young man that o-so-many loved and adored, especially the girls. Everyone wanted to be in your presence, with your beautiful smile and that signature laugh. Dom, we sorely miss you!

If I had one wish it would be to have you here…

Thank you for honoring all my requests of you, from getting your driver’s license to graduating from high school. Even in the face of adversities you never gave up, you just fought harder to see things through. I always loved your dedication and tenacity. Carpentry certified and handy around the house, from hanging light fixtures to making minor car repairs. A working man at age 14 throughout your young adult years, I was proud when you started your career at Jefferson health care, to hear you talk about all your future plans and endeavors, so proud to see you gracefully making your mark in this world. Always willing to give a helping hand.  

If I had one wish, it would be to have you here…

I hope you knew even on my worst days, your presence alone made everything better. A sense of peace and serenity would come over me, just on the sight of you. The bond we share tells me you’re my soulmate. Some people think a soulmate is their significant other, but Dom— my son— you’re mine. Our connection is tied throughout all eternity. So remarkable and unique, my first-born, my friend, my Ace. 

I never knew you were leaving, never got a chance to kiss and hug you good-bye. When you left, a part of me went with you. So now I wait until we meet again.

If only I could have you here…

 

If I was granted one wish, I’d wish you were still here.  I love you forevermore, 

Mom

Domonic and mom Nakisha posing in red on graduation day